Long Tale Press

Use this thread to discuss the excerpt Boesman by N5ka@juno.com.

Others may not have read this excerpt yet, so please use [spoiler][/spoiler] tags where appropriate.

Hi, rather than review your book, obtain points, I'd rather say a few words here. I love the premise for your story line, and the great deal of effort you have gone to, to set up your central character. Initially, this is what is referred to as back story, and data dumping and is Not needed. To me, this is what your first chapter is about, and quite honestly, should not be. This, I hope is simply a warm up and that you hit us with the subsequent chapters, rich in dialogue and action. There are many sections in this excerpt that would really fly with dialogue, color, and action. Take us right into your character - he seems to me to be a man worthy of us (the reader) getting to know intimately through his actions, deeds, and words, right out of the gate. Salem

Big Zach was, in fact, the father of the central character, Boesman, who is introduced in later chapters. That first chapter sets the scene, period, and political background that controls and drives the rest of the story. I am new at this so we are going to make lots of mistakes but learn from every one. I am open to advice.