Long Tale Press

Major revision number 2...

I rewrote much of the parts that appeared confusing and added some minor scenes to make the first chapter flow better. As always, I'm looking for ways to improve this story and I take and and all suggestions into consideration - using many of them.

For those that have already offered your endless help, I do thank you and know that your suggestions have definitely not fall on on deaf ears - this revision should be proof that I definitely do listen. :)

The spoken lasts but a moment; the written lasts forever.

It's always a balancing act. I tend to sit on the other side of the fence, not giving out enough.

In the immortal words of one of my teachers, 'Descriptions should be like dresses... Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to gather their attention...

A bit sexist, but taken in context the statement has much to say about writing descriptions. It's all about economizing... making every word work for you.

My method is to write everything I can see in my mind about a person, place, or thing then circle the first five - those were the first that came to my mind, so they would be the first any normal person (well, I like to at least consider myself normal) would first see. I then look for anything in the list that could tell me something important about the person, place, or thing. If I find anything then I substitute it for one of my five descriptive elements and toss out the lowest item of the five.

Once done with that, I ask myself, is this item I'm describing worth a lot of focus? If so, I keep all five. If not, I drop a few, depending on the weight of importance I place on the item.

It's not exactly scientific, but it's the best method I've found so far. :)

The spoken lasts but a moment; the written lasts forever.

Another revision completed, and this one was MAJOR. I had always been unhappy with the beginning of this story as I saw it as creating too many questions to allow the reader to comfortably settle in. I also saw the 'great calamity on Earth' as a horrible way to get mankind on the move.

As such, I rewrote the whole beginning, adding many of the things readers had asked for, while bolstering the characters more and adding fine details that had been needed for some time.

I hope everyone likes the changes, but I made certain I kept the old version, just in case I had left my senses behind and inadvertently left behind something that already worked.

Enjoy! :)

The spoken lasts but a moment; the written lasts forever.

One more revision completed ... this time I went backwards in the story to the beginning (via a prologue) and changed certain aspects to make the plot very solid. I hope everyone enjoys the new version. :)

The spoken lasts but a moment; the written lasts forever.