Chapter 1

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools." — Unknown

Moving, always moving. This was the third school in as many months and that didn't make things any easier. He put down another box and flicked on the light to his new apartment, now he was all alone in the world. He needed some ice cream and a mindless movie, it was utterly girly, but it worked. He dug into it, chocolate chip mint, he hated the flavor, but ice cream was ice cream.

The couch was still covered in plastic and the TV was sitting on the floor, which made for an odd angle, but he could feel himself slip into a sense of calm; maybe things would be better here. He fell asleep halfway through the credits, his glasses at odds with his face.

He woke up the next morning with dents on his face and a melted carton of ice cream on the floor and groaned. He looked at his watch. 1 o'clock. He had applied for night school in his new town and was pleased that they had even had it.

It didn't even sound lame. He could graduate early and get on with his chosen career path. Class started at six, and he wanted to get at least partially unpacked. He also smelled kind of funky after sleeping on the couch in his clothes. He would shower after he got some unpacking done.

The water felt nice on his body as he scrubbed the shampoo into his shaggy hair. He hopped out shortly afterwards, dried, and pulled on some clothes and looked at the clock, he was running late. It was almost 5:45 and class started at 6. He grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

He was in front of the school when he passed someone who felt….odd to him, but he waved it off and continued into the school, intent on not being late for his first day. He got into the office and greeted the woman behind the desk. Here was the power behind the school, piss off a secretary and nothing went your way ever again.

So he was careful to be extra nice. He had had the paperwork sent to him already and he plopped it on her desk, every t crossed and I dotted. He received a sunny smile in return. "Wow, normally we spend weeks trying to get any guy, no matter the age, to put in this much completed paperwork", she said, going through it, "And I love your hair. Oh, and here is your schedule." He patted the blond tips in his hair self consciously, he had forgotten all about them, and he grabbed his schedule to cover up the look on his face.

"Hi, I'm Liserecwa Ele", said a skinny girl coming up to him, twirling her braid nervously in one hand, holding out her other hand. He takes it and shakes it and says, "I'm Tory LaFist, didn't think you'd meet someone with a more ridiculous name then you today, did you?" She laughed nervously and said, "I'm the one who's suppose to show you around today. The reason we have night school is because the other school got burned down, so while it's being built this one is taking the strain."

She showed him where all of his classes were and the lunchroom, and then ended at his homeroom. "Class starts in a few minutes, and this is your first period", she said, and he thanked her as she walked off to what he assumed was her first period.

He exited the class and tried to figure out the map to the next class he had. He was looking down at the papers in his hand, not really paying attention, when he ran right into someone. His head shot up to apologize. And the guy who he had run into had somehow leapt onto the light fixture in what looked like a blind panic.

"Are you ok", asked Tory, watching him as he swung precariously from the light. The Guy watched Tory with terrified eyes, looking left and right. Liserecwa walked up just then and they both stared at him. "John, what are you doing on a light", she asked, looking confused, as he tried to swing away from Tory. "Umm, well, I'm in a hurry, really must be going", said John, as he tried to climb down from the light fixture.

"You're stuck on a light fixture", said Tory, trying not to laugh, "And how did you get up there anyways? If you can get up there you can get down here." "Umm, hi. I'm John Doe. Just a totally regular, not weird, normal person, pay no attention to me", he said, as he started to slip, Tory went to grab for him but he caught the wiring and was fine.

"One, you are stuck on a light fixture, and Two, your name is John Doe. Neither of those things are normal", Tory said, maybe this school wouldn't be so boring after all. "My parents have a morbid sense of humor. It's really not funny at all, I even have to drive an old hearse around. I want to be normal but will my parents let me, no, no they won't…", John was starting to rant and it seemed like he was forgetting that he needed to hold on.

Tory dove and caught the falling boy, and was nearly crushed for his efforts. The fall seemed to bring John back to his senses because he stopped ranted about his parents and fled from Tory, pushing him away. "Well that was just weird", said Liserecwa, "You saved his life and he ran away in fear."

"Seems to happen to me a lot these days", he said jokingly, "Though I still don't understand how he got onto that fixture. That was just weird. And I've seen weird before, it's my job."

"Your job", she asked. "yeah, "he said, shifting his behemoth of a backpack, "My crazy, screw up job."

Chapter 2

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos." — Homer Simpson

It was lunchtime, it was odd, having lunch at midnight, but you couldn't call it midnight snack time. Tory studied his sandwich thoughtfully until he was mobbed by a group of teenaged girls. They assaulted the senses and baffled the mind and when he almost got a full sentence, another would butt in. Then he realized that they had come over to say hi and to flirt with him.

"Hi, I'm Tory. Obviously I'm new, it's nice to meet all of you, though I'll never remember all of your names. I'm horrible with names." He gave them his best smile and they giggled, he caught several glares from across the lunchroom. He wanted to escape as quickly as possible, this many girl in one area wasn't good for ones health, if those glares told him anything.

He excused himself and went to go find a bathroom to go hide in. He was walking in when he caught the edge of, oh shit, a vampire. He had him pinned beneath his dagger before the bloodsucker had time to blink. He pushed him into the handicap stall and let him go and took a look at him. Black Clothes. Long, wavy hair, tied back of course. The hair, was of course also black. He was pale, and he had on large aviator sunglasses.

"What are you? A big walking Vampire cliché?", asked Tory, trying not to laugh, "You're a Vampire, why do you all insist on painting large bulls-eye's on your forehead's I'll never know." "I'm not a vampire", said the guy, sulking, wincing as his dagger started to glow, "And you're definitely not a normal person, either." "What gave it away? The fact that I can match you reflexes, or the fact that I'm holding a glowing dagger?", he said sarcastically.

"I think it was the dagger bit", he said, "And I'm not an evil vampire, put it away, you creep. At least I know what you are now. Use to be friends with one of you." "One of me?", asked Tory skeptically. "Only a Holy Knight can make relic glow like that and god must really like you, because that one really stings. Now put it away so we can have a civil conversation", said the Vampire, trying to shield his sunglass covered eyes, "I don't like being blind."

Tory eyed him suspiciously, but put the dagger away, it wasn't like he didn't have other weapons hidden away, and he wasn't about to let something as simple as a vampire take him down. "Daren Peters, gentleman vampire. Just to warn you, I'll probably follow you around just to see what kind of trouble you get into, I like trouble", he said, giving him a smirk, "And besides, everyone digs the cliché." Tory rolled his eyes and walked out of the bathroom. Daren was thinking that night school had just gotten a whole lot more interesting with the addition of a certain knight.

Tory was exiting the school when he heard a crash. Then he felt something that scared him more than the sound of breaking glass. Necromancy. Someone had probably found that stupid vampire and thought he was a threat, or perhaps their was a necromancer trying to take over the whole town. What ever it was, it was serious, when you had one necromancer, you had an army, and this felt like somebody strong.

This was not turning out to be a good day for him. He dropped his backpack and grabbed his sword. Luckily, no one else had heard the breaking glass. He rushed towards the sound. He stopped in his tracks. The Kid from before, John Doe, was keeping Daren at bay. He looked absolutely pissed and terrified at the sight of the vampire, and he freaked when he saw Tory holding a glowing sword. Before even Tory could react he had thrown the vampire at him with impressive finesse, and hit him. Tory went down with an "oof", but was up and running in a second, leaving the stunned vampire in his wake.

Tory caught sight of him just as he was about to smash his naked fist into a window, probably not the smartest thing to do, and almost winced in sympathy, but this was a necromancer he was thinking about. He caught him by the ankle just as he was about to lunge through. He pulled him away from the shattered window, and set him down. Tory was confused, this guy was a necromancer, and obviously a good one, but he had not attacked, even when provoked.

"So Necromancer, you attack a vampire and yet you don't attack me? You don't act evil, so why are you so afraid of me?", asked Tory. John didn't answer, he just started to mumble, clearly having a panic attack. "Going to die, Going to die, Going to die, Going to die……" Tory muttered a soothing spell under his breath and watched as John stopped hyperventilating. "Why am I not dead? I can sense the relics on you. They are powerful. Everyone who has relics and knows who I am tries to kill me", said John, looking sullen.

"I'm a Holy Knight, I protect the innocent and uphold God", he said, "Though I'm not sure of your innocence, power of your kind is too easy to corrupt. But I know that all things are not as they seem. Not all vampires are bad, not all necromancers are morbid, not all mermaids are pretty, and not all monster's eat people. In fact, most don't. I'm told we taste quite bad, actually. But as I said before, when one is as powerful as you are, it is easy to become corrupt."

"It started with My parents who are also necromancers, thus the morbid sense of humor. It was passed down to me, and well, it's kind of a family tradition to be necromancers that actually do good. We use our powers for good and we don't have armies of the undead following us around. Even at a young age I was made aware of the dangers of succumbing to it's evil powers, and I know that most necromancers are evil, but I'm not. I've also had many people with holy relics come after me. Though I've never heard of a Holy Knight, except in some of my mom's really, really old books, she said they didn't exist any longer", he said, trying to talk the guy with sword out of killing him, "I use my zombies to pick up trash and help people across the street, but not old people, not anymore anyways. Cause I remember this one time that I started out across the street with one undead servant and ended up with two on the other side. Totally on accident too, cause I would never go around randomly killing old people, cause I'm nice."

"I think I'd like to meet your parents", said Tory. "So would I", chimed in another voice, "Never met a family of do-gooder necromancers before. Though I have met some good ones." "And the vampire makes his appearance", said Tory, "What, couldn't stay passed out on the floor a little longer?" "I just had to see you, my love", said Daren sarcastically.

"Well, you're both invited over tomorrow for dinner/breakfast at 4 o'clock. And if you're late then mom will hit you with a spatula." He walked off and the other two gave him a funny look. "Why are you walking off? We need to fix the windows and your hand", said Tory, "And I want to know why my dagger didn't burn you." He pointed to the Vampire's neck. "All in good time", said he vampire, and he ran off. "My Ghost's will repair the window, and my mom can heal me up just fine, this is nothing compare to some thing's she's had to heal", he said, "See you tomorrow. Oh, and here's my address." He handed him a piece of paper.

Chapter 3

With the leg bone connected to the knee bone, and the knee bone connected to the thigh bone, and the thigh bone connected to the hip bone. -The Bone Song

"A mansion on an Indian Burial Ground. I hate Cliché's", Tory Said to himself as he walked up the steps to John's house. He rung the door bell, which wasn't so much a doorbell as a great clanging gong. He groaned, he really hated clichés. Next the door was going to answer be Lurch, and everyone was going to look like the Adam's Family.

Instead the door was answered by what looked like a woman who was pretending to be a fortune teller. She shrieked and tried to close the door. He moved quickly and slipped a foot in. John came skidding in, looking worried, then stopped when he saw that it was Tory.

"Hey Tory, glad you aren't late, mom can be murderous with the cutlery", he said. "He has enough relics with him to take out a small army", she said and she threw the spatula in her hands at John, though it was blatantly obvious that she threw to miss. He picked it up and handed it to her, grinning at John who was sprawled on the floor in defeat.

"Why, no wonder he invited you. Why didn't you tell me he was a Holy Knight!?! I would have had the ghosts get out the fine china!", she said, looking at the young knight happily. "This is my mom, she's the scholar of the family", said John, "And stop trying to steal our spatula. That's mom's favorite."

"But it's a Holy Relic!", he said, waving the glowing spatula in front of John's face, "And a surprisingly powerful one." He stopped waving it around in favor of studying it carefully.

It was snatched out of his hands by the mother, and he was led into the kitchen. "You think that's powerful, you should see what the blender can do", said the Vampire, who appeared to be chopping lettuce. "Didn't know gentlemen vampire's chopped lettuce", remarked, Tory, and he snatched the knife out of his hands. This also started glowing.

"Is your house one big relic magnet or something?",He said, touching various items, all of which glowed, "And once again, why aren't you screaming in agony, or at least whimpering in pain, Vampire. You were just touching a holy relic."

He pointed the knife accusingly at the Vampire, who was grinning widely. "Met a necromancer named Elermanceince, and he made me this ring, as long as it doesn't start glowing, I'm ok. Unless it stabs me, then it really hurts. When the powerful one's touch me, though, they tickle", he said, showing off a ring that looked like it was made of bone. It probably was made of bone.

"That's Uncle Ernie", said John, "We have him in the Living room. Well, part of him anyways. You can talk to him if you want. He was a necromancer as well as an alchemist, and a little bit crazy. He's been trying to teach me how to make stuff like that, last time I lost my eyebrows. I'll bring him into the dining room."

"Good, never did get the chance to thank him", said the Vampire, looking thoughtful. John came back in, but there was still no sign of the mysterious Uncle Ernie, whose name took away all scariness.

"Mom, The Knight is trying to smuggle out the kitchen, I can tell because he's starting to glow. What am I suppose to do?", said John to his mom, looking over at Tory who was trying not to look guilty and utterly failing, it also didn't help that he could hear the entire conversation. "Just tell him we'll give him some of the relics we have. And after a couple hundred years of our family collecting relics I think we have a few to spare. Perhaps then he won't steal out kitchen", she said, looking smug when she saw the contrite look on his face.

She was also happy to see that things that had been absent a moment before suddenly reappeared. "I smell food", came another voice, this one male. An man of average height came in and took in a deep whiff. "I love your taco's, Margaret", he said fondly, pulling her in for a kiss. Tory could see where John got his looks from. The man had ordinary down to a science, except for maybe the dark eyes.

Everyone was given a topping for what looked like Taco Salad, and Tory nearly jumped when he sat next to a Femur bone on the table. "So, a Holy Knight after all these years, nice to meet you. I would shake your hand, but I am a talking Femur", said the Bone. Tory eyed it suspiciously and poked it a few times. "It's rude to poke someone who's talking to you", said the Femur.

"Oh, be nice, Uncle Ernie", said John, "He's still trying to get over the fact that he's having a one sided conversation with a Femur." Tory shot a glare at John, then looked back at the Femur, which had gone silent. "Hi, I'm Tory. I don't know how you knew I was a Holy Knight, but I am one", he said by way of greeting, "I didn't mean to insult you, but it is rather strange to be talking to a Femur and getting a response." "Just because I am a Femur does not mean I am powerless", said the Femur, "Just means that I can't move around as much as I use to. It's kind of like being an old person, or being paralyzed, but with necromancy."

"That's a terrifying though, O Talking Femur", said the Vampire from across the table. "I recognize you. Hope you put my little trinket to good use. And don't patronize me. I may be a talking Femur, but I'm not senile and I'm not powerless", said Uncle Ernie.

"Yes, O Talking Femur", murmured Daren, trying not to laugh. Then everyone went silent as they started to dig into the taco salad. "Oh dear, how forgetful of me, I have some extra blood from an experiment left over, I'll go fetch it", said John's mother, watching as everyone but Daren stuffed as much as they could into their mouths. She came back a few moments later and set it down and he sipped it, and thanked her.

Then the phone rang. They would later realize that this started the next big chapter in their lives, but then it had only been a phone call. John's father got up to answer it, and came back. "I have to go down to the morgue, and you might want to turn on the news he said", then he ran out the door. "Why is your dad going to the morgue?", asked Daren. "He works for the morgue", remarked the Femur, "And take me back to the family room, I want to see what all the fuss is about."

"I hate clichés", said Tory, but he picked up the bone and followed the three others into the gigantic family room. "You have dinosaur skeletons in your family room", remarked Daren, "How Quaint." Everyone else ignored him in favor of the television.

"A group of armed men have come into the school and kidnapped a student.", said the news reporter. A picture if Liserecwa Ele flashed up in the corner of the screen. "She was drugged and then taken away and then a bomb went off, one student was killed, three have serious injuries, and at least twenty five have been injured. Luckily, the bomb was in the lobby during class time, otherwise many more would have died from this tragic event. If you have any information as to the whereabouts of this girl, Liserecwa Ele, then please call the number on the bottom of the screen", she continued saying, as a number flashed.

"How could they have caught her", asked John, looking at the screen skeptically. "She's pretty small. Even if I was some normal guy I could pick her up and cart her off, no problem", stated Tory. "She has….. Powers. And she could probably take me if it came to a real fight", he said. Tory raised one eyebrow skeptically.

"You do realize what you're saying. Some girl that I've met, and got no reading on is powerful enough to take on a necromancer?", said Tory, "Sorry if I'm a little skeptical." "She's the most powerful telekinetic in the world. Can you sense that? It's not evil, per say, but it is power, and someone wants it, and that someone isn't asking", said the Femur.

"What do you think, mom? She's my only friend at school. I have to go save her", he said, looking at her questioningly. "You are finally old enough to use your powers on your own. Go with my blessing", she said, and kissed him on the forehead. Then she handed him her spatula. "You realize that I'm honor bound to help you, right?", said Tory, "And that if he can take out her you'll need my help anyways." "I'm bored anyways, count me in", said Daren, watching the TV, as firefighters put out the last of the fires. "So, what are you going to do with that Spatula", asked Tory. "You can't have it, you crazy weirdo", he said, hitting the boy with it, making it glow.

"Now, we need to find Liz. I've sent out my tracker ghosts to find her. Once they do they'll come back here", said John, "But I can't do anything else."He paced and he whacked his head with his hand. And a spatula. Then he started swearing and cursing and jumping up and down.

"That's really helping", said Tory, "I would suggest a tracking spell, but I don't know her well enough for it to work." "I hate waiting", said the Vampire, "What are you doing, O Talking Femur?" "Planning your demise", stated the Femur, who then went silent.

Then Tory felt another ominous presence, off came the backpack and out came the sword. "Put that stupid thing away! Do you want to blind me?", hissed the vampire, who had dove for cover behind the couch. "Something bad is coming, and just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there", said the knight, "And you most likely won't be able to. Most ghosts that stay on earth do so for a reason, and most of them aren't good. I can see them, and what I have seen wasn't pretty."

John realized what he was saying almost too late. "Don't attack my tracking ghost! He'll know where Liz is", he said. Tory saw him talk to a ghost, but heard nothing, and Daren saw him talk to thin air. Then John was running out the door, and into his hearse. He was gone and they were still standing there. "Did you hear what the ghost said?", asked Daren quietly.

"No", said Tory, "But I know John, so that means a tracking spell, can you get outside without some sort of covering?" "Yeah, it's dark enough", said the Vampire, and he followed Tory out, as he muttered foreign words under his breath as they ran along.

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